Another knife in my hands
by HotRussianVodka
Summary: I'm gonna tell you about all that crazy stuff that happened to me three years ago before I ended up in this goddamned jail. I mean, I've never told anybody what happened, so you can feel honored about it. Based on Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, that's it – my second full-length story. I know what you think. **_**'You have a killjoy story on, finish it and then start a new one!' **_** Blah blah blah… Well, you wanted me to post it, so, here it is!**

**Thank you for reading**

If you really wanna hear about it, firstly I'll warn you that this is not a sweet story with happy ending. It's pretty harsh and cruel, well, just like I am.

You probably wanna know where I was born, what my life was like and how did I get there, but it's really boring. Plus, it'll hurt many people – my parents, for example. They will have two heart attacks apiece if they'll know about all this crap that happened to me. You see, they're way too touchy, especially my mother. She would smoke tons of cigarettes and drink lots of gin. Then she'll lock herself up in a bedroom saying that she has a migraine. And my father, well… He'd just shake his head and say how he's disappointed in me. Yeah, that kind of crap. Besides, I'm not going to tell you all my autobiography or something like that. I'm gonna tell you about all that crazy stuff that happened to me three years ago before I ended up in this goddamned jail. I mean, I've never told _**anybody **_what happened, so you can feel honored about it.

Where I want to start telling is that day that I've met two brothers near Sweet Revenge. Sweet Revenge is that bar in Brooklyn, New York. You had to hear about it. It's pretty popular, especially now, after all that stuff that happened in there. Anyway, in 60's it used to be very bohemian place, very Andy Warhol style. Now it's just another crappy bar in Brooklyn.

Anyway, it was Saturday night, Halloween. This all Halloween crap was supposed to be a very big deal in Sweet Revenge. Lot's of creeps were there, all in their vampire kind of costumes. Telling the truth, I wasn't one of them. I've never loved Halloween and, considering all that happened to me, never will. After all, I was visiting that bar because they had the best whiskey in whole Brooklyn. I remember about eleven o'clock that night I was sitting on a barstool sipping my drink, right next to creepy zombie-alike guy with a huge black mohawk. You could see the whole bar from there, and still stay invisible.

The reason I wasn't partying this night was because I was death tired. You see, I was working in a hospital. All this med crap meant a world to me back then. Not that I wanted to help all these people, I was fascinated by blood. Sounds creepy, I know, but that's truth. I love blood. Not in vampire kind of way, I love looks of it, it's perfect. Color, texture… We'', yeah, I love blood.

Anyway, I made the last sip from my glass and said good-bye to the barman. Throwing last glance at that zombie-guy, I put my coat on and exited the bar. It was October, almost November, and it was fucking cold, especially with that goddamn rain going on. I decided to catch a cab, so I stayed on the side of the street waiting for it. I only had a coat on and no gloves or scarf. You see, some motherfucker had stolen my gloves and umbrella. I mean, who the hell needs to steal this kind of crap? I believe that people steal wallets or something like that, but gloves… Really? So I kept standing there freezing my ass off.

That wasn't my day, really. First all these people in a hospital, now the cab. I mean, it's Brooklyn, where the hell all the cabs were? I was freezing on that street for almost 30 minutes!

And then I saw them. Two young men were walking down the street in my direction. One of them had long black hair and really, I mean really, pale face that seemed silver in the street light. The other one was very skinny, he was almost as pale as the first one, and he had light brown hair and glasses on. They both were dressed in all black and had a black make-up on their eyes. I remember thinking that they were another vampire lovers from Sweet Revenge. Of course, I was mistaken.

"Do you have a cigarette?" said black-haired one when they approached me. I nodded in reply. "So, could you give me one, please?"

I nodded again and gave him one. I wanted to ask if he needed a light but he took the matches out of his pocket. He made a drag and closed his eyes, probably enjoying the felling of nicotine filling his lungs. All this time the one with glasses on kept giving me weird glances. I just rolled my eyes and looked away from him.

"So," started black-haired one, "what is girl like you doing on the street in the middle of the night?" he ask, blowing the smoke out.

"Waiting for a cab," I grumbled. The steam escaped my mouth as I spoke. Fuck, it was freezing.

"So you need a ride home?" he asked again, not looking away from me. Genius! I nodded and looked at the skinny one again. He kept staring at me not blinking. "We can walk ya home, you know. It's fucking freezing here and you can wait for a cab whole night, you know. These motherfuckers hate Brooklyn, ya know."

I looked away. What should I say? I thought that they'll kill or rape me anyway, so why reject them? Maybe they'll change their mind and let me live.

"Why not?" I said shrugging. I told them my address. Black-haired scratched the back of his neck, thinking.

"It's about five blocks away from here, not far," he mumbled. "What do you think, Mike?" he asked the other man, Mike. He just shrugged at that. "Ok then. I'm Gerard and this is my brother Mike."

"Rose," I said.

"'s nice to meet you, Rose," said Gerard smiling smugly.

So, we started to walk in silence. I kept breathing on my hands to warm them up. Thankfully, rein was over, so it wasn't that shitty. But my hands still were freezing. Skinny one, Mike, noticed it and gave me his gloves. I mumbled a thank you and put them on. Much better. He just nodded and looked away. Creep.

"So, Rose," started Gerard, "What are you up to?" I knew that he wanted something from me by the way he asked it. Crap.

"Working," I said shrugging. "In… in a hospital," I added when I noticed his death glare. He obviously wasn't satisfied by my short answer.

"So you are the doctor?" asked Gerard. He was very interested in this doctor stuff. I could say it by the way his eyes glistered in my mention of the hospital.

"Yep. I'm a surgeon," I said. Mike immediately looked at me. Gerard just smiled again.

"So, you can heal people?" he asked.

"Well, yeah," I said. "That's what doctors do, you know," I shrugged. Boy, this Gerard was giving me creeps.

"Good," he whispered, rubbing his chin. "You always need a doctor, especially in times like this." In a times like what?

"So, I believe we're here," said Gerard after about twenty minutes. Telling the truth, all that time seemed like an eternity to me. Well, you see, I was waiting for a moment when this creep will grab a gun from his pocket and blow my brains out. But he didn't. Instead he just gave me another smug smile. Creep. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Rose." All I could do was to nod my head. Really, I was fucking scared to do anything harsh or loud. He could kill me any second, you know. He and this silent creep. "I guess we'll be seeing you."

Then he and Mike just turned away and left me standing beside my apartment. I couldn't move, really. 'We'll be seeing you.' What's that supposed to mean? Gosh, I was so scared. Especially now, when those creeps knew where I lived. How stupid I was, letting them walk me home.

I run a hand through my hair and froze in terror. Gloves. Mike's goddamn gloves! I cursed under my breath and looked the way the creeps were gone. They were nowhere to be seen. Fantastic!

I always was a chicken. Really, even when I was little girl, I was afraid almost of everything – dark, heights, ghosts, even clowns. I would burst out crying every night when I had a nightmare. Usually after that my nanny would give me a cup of warm milk with honey and sing some silly lullaby. It wouldn't help much, though. I was suffering from nightmares almost every night until I turned 10, or twelve. I don't remember.

Anyway, when I was up in my apartment I took off the gloves and put them as far as possible. Then I took off my coat and stepped into the kitchen. I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down on a chair. I remember not going to sleep that night. I sat in the kitchen up until the morning, drinking one cup of coffee after another. I've never been so scared in my life. Every sound was making my jump on my chair in horror. That moment I didn't understand why I was so scared of them, but Gerard's crazy eyes and smug smile kept flashing in my mind over and over again. I wanted to burn Mike's gloves, to run away from my apartment and rent a room in some cheap hotel, call the police, lock the door, call my brother. But I didn't do anything of it. I was sitting in my chair, paralyzed in terror.

When I heard someone knock my door, I thought that my heart will stop. I felt my hands shaking. I took a deep breath as to calm myself down. _It's probably nothing._ They knocked again. I stoop up and walked to the door and shaking legs. I took another deep breath as I approached the door. "Calm down," I whispered, "you're not going to die."

I opened the door and saw Gerard and Mike standing behind it. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. Gerard was giving me that crazy smile again. "How…" my voice was raspy and nervous, "how did you know which apartment is mine?" I asked before cleaning by throat. Gerard cocked his head slightly and smiled. Again.

"Won't you let us in?" he said. "It's cold outside and we're _deathly_ tired.

**A/N#2****: Well, what do you think? Tell me, pretty please *hugs***


	2. This blood on my hands

**A.N.: I know it's reallyshort, but that's all I'm able to do at the moment. I have a HUGE writer's block, it's so shitty. Well, back to reading!**

Killing is like a drug, believe me. I remember the first time I killed a person – it was with Gerard.

I don't remember how we get to Sweet Revenge; I just remember that we were oh, so wasted! We were sitting at the table, surrounded by numerous of empty glasses and laughing like crazy. It was two or three months since we first met, and all that time is like a blur to me, I remember just tiny details, nothing big or important. All I know that in these couple of months I became really close to Way brothers.

I believe this evening was like numerous of the same – we used to get drunk almost every night. So here we were – me and Gerard, not friends, not enemies – at the same table looking at each other and laughing almost hysterically.

"I need to go home," I said still laughing. I stood up on shaking legs and almost fell to the floor immediately. "Oops," I giggled.

"I'll go with you," said Gerard standing up and grabbing my hand. I shook my head as a no. "I'll go. Otherwise you'll fell on the road or get yourself killed."

"But you are wasted too," I shook a finger near his nose.

He chuckled and let me out of the bar. "Let's go, Rose."

When we were out of the bar we spotted a man in his forties walking down the streets. "Wanna have fun?" asked Gerard. I nodded and giggled in answer. We started to follow this man who began trowing nervous glance in our way. Gerard spotted it and grabbed my hand, so we can look like a drunken couple.

We started to walk faster, almost reaching this man. Then Gerard let go of my hand and grabbed man's shoulder. He dragged him into the dark alleyway and punched his face.  
>Immediately I got sober. What the hell was happening? What the fuck Gerard was thinking? Somebody could see us; police can drive down this road. But the street was empty, as if everybody knew that we were up to something bad.<p>

I followed Gerard into the alleyway. He was beating the shit out of this man, he had blood pouring out of his nose and mouth, but sure for Gerard it wasn't enough.  
>The man didn't scream, didn't plead him to stop. Think he didn't want to give Gerard what he wanted - begging for mercy. And it was driving Gerard mad.<p>

"How does it feel, motherfucker?" said Gerard after punching the man in the face with his leg. "Enjoying the taste of your own blood, jerk?" The man just looked me in the eyes. I immediately looked the other way.

After several minutes the man was lying almost lifelessly on the dirty ground. Gerard made a deep breath and took a knife out of his pocket. Then he suddenly looked my way and said "Wanna finish him?" I don't what got into me, what did I think, but walked to him and took a knife from his hands. "Cut his throat."

I nodded and got to my knees in front of the man. I gripped his hair and titled is head so can have access to his neck. Gerard sat down behind me and place his hands on my shoulders. "That's it," he whispered I my ear, "just finish him. Finish motherfucker."

And I indeed did it. Knife was really good, I traced it down the man's throat without problem. My hand immediately were in his warm crimson blood. "Good girl," whispered Gerard, slightly licking my ear. "You're such a good girl, Rosie," he said titling my head to the right and then kissing me slightly.

What I felt back then? Nothing. I was completely numb. I was numb when Gerard threw me up to my legs. I was numb when he got hold of my hips and pushed me to cold brick wall. I was numb when he pushed my skirt up my hips and got rid of my underwear. I was numb when he unzipped his pans and entered me without hesitating. I was numb when he fucked me. I felt blood rushed to my limbs and then I felt my climax approaching. I grabbed his hair and forced his mouth to mine, kissing deeply. Then I came gripping his face and leaving bloody fingertips on it. Seconds later Gerard came with a loud grunt, gripping my hips.

* * *

><p>He said that we couldn't have a cab, because I had blood on my hands and legs and his face was covered with bloody fingertips. He walked me home and left, not saying a word. He didn't call for three weeks after that.<p>

**A.N.#2: So, what do you think? Like it? Hate it? Lemme know**

**P.S. About my killjoy stiry - I finished it, but I don't think it's good. May be I'll update it in a few days,**

**Always yours,**

**HRV**


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